Ed, Edd n Eddy: A Series of Interesting Events
by Ammish
Summary: A series of experimental one shot. Life continues in and out of the cul-de-sac. Some has changed. Some remain the same. But they are all still here. Witness the life of the cul-de-sac crew. The Ed's High Road Trip gone wrong. The unlikely friendship of two girls. The cul-de-sac may be small, but never boring.
1. Highroad Ed PT1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy and thus, whatever goes on in here or any of my work based on Ed, Edd n Eddy are non-canon. I am a fan of the series, nothing more and nothing less. Thank you, Cartoon Network and Danny Antonucci for creating this wonderful work. I also like to credit VampireMeerkats, avid fan and creator of the upcoming fan series, Ed, Edd n Eddy Highschool, for the Ed's hat theory and the character design decisions that I wholly support.

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The scorching, summer sun shone high, towering over the long high road that stretched on, seemingly never-ending. There was nary a building in sight, only a cactus positioned unnaturally on the side of the road. That cactus caught the attention a young man, one of three inside a retro, demode van. The same van that was shown at an earlier point in the young men's life. The life of the three Eds.

In the flame-skinned leather driver's seat of the retrofitted van was the tallest of the Eds. Once the shortest of the three Eds, Eddy's genes from his father's side kicked in at the age of fifteen and granted him a tremendous growth spurt. He had also grown in weight, and was now slightly chubby, even under his baggiest yellow sleeve top.

Next to Eddy was Ed. The messiest of the Eds, he wore small, rectangular reading glasses due to a lazy eye that caused his parents some concern. His intelligence was certainly no different to around five years ago, even though Ed clearly believed the glasses make him smarter.

Lastly, sat in the back of the van is Edd, though his friends call him 'Double D'. No longer did he hide his hair inside the hat, but had let it grow below his shoulders. He had hidden his hair not because it was long, but because his parents attempted to cut it on short notice when he was a young child. Instead, it has resulted in a mess of tangled hair which had only grown worse the more Edd tried to fix it. He had hidden it from his parents for years, using hair pins and keeping it all in his hat. It wasn't until Nazz fixed his hair up, not out of love or friendship, but rather out of an OCD for messy hair.

The Eds had always stood by each other. Even when the Eds have been accepted by the kids from the Cul De Sac, when the truth of his brother was revealed, they had always gotten on better with each other than anyone else. To this day, their friendship is still as strong as it ever was.

But uneasiness reeks from the Eds. Eddy is violently twisting the ignition key, hoping to start up the car's engine, yet to no avail. Ed impatiently explored the entirety of his green coat, the same coat that he had when he was younger, but always come out disappointed. And Edd's attention is occupied by the green cactus just outside of the van, as if it cannot escape from its mind.

"Come on, you stupid heap of junk!" yelled Eddy, growing more impatient with the van as he repeatedly twist the ignition key. It has just stopped in the middle of the road, which hampered the plans for the young men's summer road trip. No matter how firm his hands were in twisting the ignition key, the engine would not even make a little noise. Aghast, Eddy has given up, "Double D, it's broken".

There was no reply from Edd, his eyes fixated on the cactus. Eddy groaned and turned his head to Double D, then to the direction of what he was looking at. "Sockhead, can you quit having a crush on that Cactus! It's creeping me out" said Eddy.

Edd snapped out of his 'trance', his face grew red with embarrassment. "Good lord, Eddy" shouted Edd. "Just because I was quietly observing the anomaly that is a genuinely healthy, unusual cactus, does not mean I have a hormonal attraction to this...".

"Yeah, yeah." Eddy interrupted Edd, not caring about the cactus. "We'll get to that problem later on. Right now, the van won't start"

"I can see that, Eddy" replied Edd. "Did you rotate the ignition key 90 degrees counter-clockwise, then hold it in a stationary position and repeated the process?"

"..." Eddy had nothing to say, not without clouting Edd's head. With the swift of his hands, bam, collided into Edd's head. He yelped as a result and his vision blurred seconds after. He soon recuperated after and compose himself, becoming annoyed at Eddy's assault on his head. "Good lord, Eddy! You didn't have to hit me"

Eddy gritted his teeth "I already did that, Rapunzel!". Rapunzel was another addition to his nicknames alongside 'sockhead', referencing Edd's long, silky black hair. To Eddy, it felt more fitting to use 'Rapunzel', though habits dictate that 'sockhead' would escape from his mouth in the heat of moment. But it makes it all the more disappointing for Edd, as his face changed emotion to represent a more unfavorable disapproval.

"I would have preferred that you would at least utilise the preceding moniker, but I have mentioned this repeatedly and..." Edd suddenly stopped in mid-sentence as he heard a whimper. A genuinely, doleful whimper. The whimper of Ed; his eyes swelling up with tears. "Ed? Pray tell, what is wrong?"

"DOUBLE D" shouted Ed, as his tears began to pour out like a rapid waterfall, filling the inside of the van. Edd began to panic for Ed. He wasn't one to watch people be upset, especially if it is one of his best friends. Edd always want to help others in the best way possible and even take it out of his times to reach a satisfiable conclusion. There is also another reason why Edd wants to desperately help. He does not want to drown in a van full of tears.

"Ed, it's not like you to be suddenly upset?" asked Edd, a concerned look on his face.

"I CAN'T FIND MY GRAVY. I HAD IT IN MY POCKET. NOW IT'S NOT HERE." cried Ed, his stream of tears accelerating.

"Monobrow! Rapunzel! We have a problem here. The van will not start. This is not the time to talk about Rapunzel's second girlfriend or about Ed's stinky, mouldy..."

Before Eddy could finish his sentence, a large, mouldy pan collided on top of Eddy's head. The pan look to be very antique, very cauldron-like out of some b-horror witch movie. It also has two, large, black letters, though it wasn't as straight, but very wobbly as if it was a pre-school child's first attempt at writing it.

"Ed, I think we found your... gravy" said Edd, squeezing his nose with a pair of pegs that he pulled out of his hat. Despite his hair length, the hat made a great storage place. "Good heavens. That stench."

"GRAAAAAVY!" shouted Ed in his happy and dopeful manner, as he grabbed Eddy with his two, grubby hands and his mouth grew wide, ear to ear, bigger than the Cheshire Cat's smile. Edd shouted to Ed to snap him out of his hunger phase "Ed, don't eat Eddy!"

Ed snapped out of his hunger phase and looked at what he has grasped onto: a disgruntled Eddy who seems to be at the tipping point that could make him explode. Explode into wrathful anger. "What are you doing with my gravy? If you wanted some, just ask. My gravy is for all" said Ed with a happy expression on his face, oblivious to the anger of Ed.

"THAT'S IT." shouted Eddy as his hands grasped onto the stainless steel handle of the driver's seat door, opening it and the sea of Ed's tears drained out the door along with other things. Ed's gravy pot. The abacus that Edd carries around. Magazines of women in luscious positions. And finally, Edd, who is not strong enough to combat the waves of the tears, trying to grab onto the door of the van. Over in a few seconds, the van is almost free of tears, aside from wet patches on the floor, wind-shield and the seats. Eddy proceeded to continue his sentence.

"Double D, the van would not work. Ed, I don't want your stinkin gravy! Now, back to you, Double D. Can you fix the van?" asked Eddy, desperately wanting the situation to be addressed and to continue the road trip that they have all been planning.

"Eddy, I... uh, don't know how to... repair this vehicle" Edd admitted, his eyes shifted left and not wanting to make direct eye contact, still latching onto the door.

"What? How can you not know how to fix this vehicle when you got it working in the first place! It was a heap of junk before I asked you to fix it up!" said Eddy.

"Well, you see...". Edd did not want to admit the truth. He cannot bear that someone else did a much better job than him and he did promise Eddy that he would get the van working once again. Instead, he tried to throw off Eddy with a long-winded, but never-ending explanation. "Well, I require the knowledge to repair these vehicles, but I need to reinvigorate my limited knowledge, which requires learning materials that I have left at home, but you see, I can a moment... and calling it a moment would be a misuse of its correct terminology, because the word 'moment' derived from mathematics, discussing about quantatitiv..."

"RAPUNZEL" Eddy interrupted Edd.

"NO, I DON'T" Edd admitted, screeching the truth at the top of his lung. Silence consumed the young men as they heard those words escaped from Edd's mouth.

_No, I don't. _

Even Ed sat there, looking confused. Ed always lacked intelligence, but even he was shocked that Edd did not fix the vehicle. To him, Edd can fix and create anything. The truth did not catch his attention for long as he witnessed an object rolling near the unnatural cactus that Edd laid his eyes on before. That object was the rusty, antique gravy pan, leaving a trail of 'gravy residue' from the van.

"MY GRAVY!" Ed shouted as he jumped over the two young men acrobatically. Yes, acrobatically, doing a forward, triple flip. Edd's eyes locked onto Ed, amazed at the skill that he has portrayed. And so he has watched, until Ed successfully landed onto the ground, outside of the van.

"Oh my, Ed. Where did you..."

But Ed tripped over just before Edd could finish his question, instead uttering those two words instead "Never mind".

Eddy did not witness the extraordinary skill that Ed possessed as he is irked by the truth that Edd has said. "Double D. If you don't know how to fix our Ed mobile. Then HOW DID YOU FIX THIS VAN IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"Well, you see. When I agreed to the promise, and I always try to live up to my promises, is that this vehicle would be repaired. And it has been repaired, filed under the necessary checks and is risk-free. But.. I didn't posses enough knowledge to do so... and seek outside help, as painful as it was." explained Edd, as he has let go of the car seat door and composed himself upright.

"So who... did fix it?" Eddy asked Edd.

"Well". Edd gulped as he began to sweat from his forehead. He knew the truth was going to come out sooner or later. "You see, I had to require the help of... Marie Kanker since she possess knowledge in mechanical engineering, greater than I when it come to automobiles"

"YOU GOT A KANKER TO TOUCH MY VAN!?" Eddy shouted, scratching himself apace with his nails, treating the truth like that the Kanker spread her disease onto the van.

"Oh come now, Eddy. Marie might portray herself as the ferocious, selfish and careless type. But I'm grateful that she has accomplished admirably the task that I failed to accomplish." Edd replied.

"Yeah. And that Kanker might as well 'accomplish' your soul!" Eddy snapped back.

"That sentence is not even correct, Eddy. You cannot use 'accomplish' as the definition clearly states..."

Eddy interrupted Edd with his hands grabbing onto his lips, stretching it outwards like an elastic band. "Yap, yap. Do you know what that means? We're stuck out here and you do not know how to fix the van!" shouted Eddy.

"Oh, do not be dramatic, Eddy" said Edd, albeit slurred with a hint of lisp. "We can contact the appropriate services to come and collect us"

"But that requires money!" Eddy spat back, distraught that the situation has forced him to consider spending his money on a van that he originally believed that it could be fixed by Edd.

The argument between Edd and Eddy carried on, that whilst Edd was trying to stand his grounds and apologise for his mistakes, Eddy doesn't want to partake his cash just to continue his trips as it would hamper the plans. Eddy have always been tight when it comes to money that is not luxurious, as large sums of money should be spent on something that he would enjoy, not on obligations. Both Eds cannot see the other side of the argument and the end is far from sight.

Ed followed his gravy pan all the way up to the unnatural cactus. He quickly picked it up, before proceeding to shake his fingers disapprovingly. "You are a bad gravy pan, mister" Ed belittled the gravy pan, treating the rusty pan as a young curious baby who goes out exploring despite being told not to go anywhere.

_Haha, I say. _

Ed heard that voice. Confused, he looked around, snapping back and forth to check out where the voice came from. The voice contained an accent, a Texan accent, but one that allude a more old man crazed prospector accent.

"Gravy Pan. Is that you speaking?" Ed asked, scanning his gravy pan.

_Are you crazy? Everyone dan tootin knows pots can't say anythin. _

"Haha, that is true, Mister!" Ed replied in his usual dopey manner, though it took him a few seconds to realise that he was talking to someone. "Is this... a... ghost?"

_I ain't heard no ghost speaking either. _

Ed caught on where the voice is, and he impossibly rotated his head around one-hundred-and-eighty degrees to the direction of the voice, locking his eyes on the first thing that he has witnessed. That cactus. Upon close view, the unnatural cactus shows more proof that it is 'unnatural'. The spines do not have the sharpness that it expected from a cactus, instead featuring more blunt spines. It has a more unnatural green and appear plastic. A label is attached to the bottom of the cactus, with 'washing instructions' labelled

"Yaaaaahoooo!" shouted the voice from the cactus enthusiastically. The cactus jumped up four feet in the air, throwing Ed into a frighten manner as he witnessed the cactus suddenly 'come to life'. Landing back down, the cactus initiated into a rather enthusiastic dance. "Oh I'm darn happy! People call me crazy. A waste of my social security. That no one would believe I can look like a cactus. But they wrong. THEY ARE ALL WRONG"

"AAAAH. DOUBLE D. EDDY. IT'S THE ALIEN CACTUS FROM THE MOVIE 'ALIEN CACTUS. VS. DRACULA'" shouted Edd, running away from the Cactus that sprung to life, as fast as he could. He even created a mini tornado with the velocity of his speed. As Edd and Eddy were still arguing over the van, Ed grabbed onto the two men ferociously and quickly throwing them into the van, all without Edd and Eddy realising what has just happened.

"MONOBROW!" Eddy shouted at Ed angrily, as he was pushed to the far right of the passenger's seat, with Edd in front of him. "What is goi..." Eddy's sentence stopped by a lock of Edd's hair exhaled into Eddy's mouth, choking and coughing. Instead of warning Edd, Eddy grabbed to the side a large pair of metal, scissor used for cutting paper, which were resting on the dashboard. With a snip, he cut off a lock of Edd's hair that was stuck in his mouth. Edd felt his hair was shorter than usual, so he turned his head around to find what Eddy has done.

"GOOD LORD, EDDY!" shouted Edd as he scuttled away from Eddy, horrified at the actions that Eddy wrought on him. "DID YOU HAVE TO ASSAULT MY HAIR WITH THOSE SCIZZORS?"

"Your hair was in my mouth, sockhead" retorted Eddy.

"My... hair. You have violated the sanctity of... Oh my, this is just... like the time 'Ma' and 'Pa' tried to cut my hair" wistfully said Edd, reminiscing back to the memories of that event. Edd's eyes swell up in tears, never truly getting over the events that he described as one of the biggest embarrassments he has endured.

"Double D, I'm..." As Eddy was about to finish his sentence, he turned to Ed who has entered the fetal position, sucking onto his thumb. "Ed, what did you see?"

"I saw..." Ed struggled to finish his sentence, but someone else finished the sentence.

"A convincing cactus!"

As the Edds all turn their heads to the direction of the voice, theirs eyes bolted onto the cactus. This time, the cactus' face was revealed. The face of an elderly, wrinkly man with a wavy, grey beard. His smile grew wide, revealing that three quarter of his teeth were silver and rusted. The man inside the cactus just smiled, though a little giggle escaped.

"So convincing that I should be called 'Cactus Man'!".

**A/N: **_I did plan on having all of my one shots as separate submissions, but I think compiling them into one is preferable. They all work within the 'universe' I want to lay out. So my other one shots, whilst still experimental, work in conjunction with other one shots. They are set at undisclosed timelines, so the next shot could be set before this and the other could be set after. It still focus on the Eds as teens and nothing more. _

_Another thing is this particular chapter, "Highroad Ed", is suppose to be one chapter. But I think leaving it off here is ideal, so that I can continue it in Part 2. The next chapter I'm writing for this will be about something else. But I'm finishing it off with Part 2, which will show that I am ready to write out the whole thing. _

_Also, please R&R. I'd really appreciate it. It is my first fan fiction in a long time... like around seven years? I'm still rusty as hell. If this gets changed, it's just grammatical changes, sentence restructuring, the usual stuff. Right now, I'm bothered about whether I got the Eds right._

_Thanks. _

_PS: Yes, my first 'OC' called Cactus Man. Oh yeah, he's actually a thing. _


	2. Teacher's Grudge

**A/N: **_Before anyone gets confused, this is set before the first chapter. You can tell by how I describe Eddy and Edd. Highroad Ed is set at the time when the Eds are 16 - 17. In this one, they are 12 - 13, so slightly older than the characters on "Big Picture Show". Each chapter is based randomly at each point of their lives in School. I can confirm this is one of the chapters that is set at the 'beginning'. Now you know. Another thing. This chapter was not planned at all, so this is the most experimental in a...'experimental series. Expect some... mild inconsistencies.  
_

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Eddy never had a short supply of enemies after him. Even after being accepted by his the cul-de-sac gang when witnessing the horrible truth of his brother, he always manage to make new enemies even when his intentions are misplaced. There was one enemy that Eddy hated the most of all. The one that made him hate that person almost as much as his brother, though to Eddy, no one can beat his brother. But he comes close.

It is a teacher at the Peach Creek Jr. High. A rather strange state school that accept students from an age group that accompanies both Elementary and Junior High School. The only explanation given to the exceptional system was budgetary reasons. No student at the school ever questioned the explanation nor gave an ounce of care, even Edd of all people.

"Edgar Skipper Doe!" shouted a strong, commanding and strict voice.

Eddy snapped his head to the direction of the voice and came across with the teacher in the hallway. The lockers are neatly aligned on the left hand side, though the right hand side is littered with posters of various motivational posts and events. One poster, Sophocles, shows a woman with her back turned and her quote "Better to fail with honour than to succeed by fraud".

The teacher towered over Eddy, bring along a radiance of frightening authority .Eddy began sweating uncontrollably in the teacher's presence, refusing his eyes to meet direct contact with the teacher's. The teacher wore work-standard white shirt and black trousers, his teeth stuck out as stained yellow and his hair clearly a toupee. No student would dare to comment on his toupee, no matter the opportunity. The teacher exerts an atmosphere that everyone trembles under.

"Why… hello, Mr. Dickson" Eddy replied, quivering in fear at the presence of Mr Dickson.

"Edgar..." The teacher said, looking down at the individual with a disappointed grin. "I have graded your work. And I find it to be interesting, but…"

"…" Eddy stood there in silence, his heart beat faster once he heard the word 'but' uttered from his mouth.

"…you smeared mud over my car, which your grade goes from a C to a D" Mr Dickson continued, which forced a high-pitched reply from Eddy.

"BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT WAS MY BIKE" came Eddy's reply.

"I take great pride in how clean my car is. Since you smeared mud, I had to take it to the Car Wash. That took valuable time out of my day and I don't like my day to be disrupted. I think the adequate solution is to penalise your work" Mr Dickson explained, smiling as he watched Eddy perform under stress and anxiety.

Mr Dickson takes enjoyment in watching one of his student's disappointment, especially of Eddy's. He despises Eddy the most, as he perceive him to be rude, loud-mouth and obnoxious. It is Mr Dickson's favourite target.

For Eddy, he despise Mr. Dickson, as if anything goes somewhat wrong in his presence, harsh punishments is ensured. Swiftly given for being a second late to the classroom, asking his friend, Edd, for help on his coursework and even trying to chat casually to a girl, are few of the many things that Mr Dickson would find to punish or ridicule him. And no one would dare to question Mr Dickson. His word was increasingly impossible to challenge. Well, aside from the other teachers. But then, Mr Dickson chooses his targets very wisely.

"Mr. Dickson. It was an accident" pleaded Eddy, sweating more uncontrollably as he finished those sentence. Usually Eddy would be acting so much out of character, but he is in the presence of Mr Dickson.

"Accidents require punishment. Usually I would be forgiving and maybe I could make an exception..." replied Mr Dickson, pondering over, yet keeping an eye on Eddy for any slight reaction. He caught on that Eddy eased a bit, signalled by less sweating. But that was his intention. "But you'll complain about that on your... what is it? Tweeter? FacePub? You won't learn your lesson, so I shall punish you accordingly."

Eddy groaned in protest, dejected by his plea felling on deaf ears. It isn't fair, but then, no one would challenge him. Everyone else wants to get on his good list. Eddy is is not on his good book.

"Your grade for your paper will be granted a D. And you shall be given detention after school. That is all" said Mr. Dickson sternly, walking pass Eddy as his business with him is completed. Eddy sighed a huge breath of relief, despite being punished unfairly. Eddy is glad to be out of his presence.

"Oh, Edgar" called out Mr. Dickson, as he stop his tracks. Eddy turned his head around to Mr. Dickson once again, sweating nervously. "Take a chastity belt with you. Lee Kanker is also being punished accordingly and I do not want to see or hear you trying to seduce a young woman. I know kids like you cannot put a lock on your hormones"

With that last sentence, Mr Dickson continued walking the opposite of Eddy, slowly disappearing into the room on left hand side that is labelled 'Teacher's Lounge'. Once Eddy knew he was gone, he again sighed a huge breath of relief longer than the last, laying his back into the lockers.

"I see you had a rendezvous with Mr. Dickson" solemnly said the voice of Edd.

Edd walked over to Eddy, who is still wearing his 'school clothes' that he always picked out for the school, a yellow tie and a brown buttoned jacket. Edd still wore the hat as always, only three strands of hair could escaped from the bottom of his hat.

Eddy's head locked down at the direction of his shoes, too upset to look up at his friend. Eddy has been unfairly punished for an accident he has caused and he is now being put in detention with a woman who does not know the meaning of 'self-restraint'. And his paper work discussing about the theories and tactics of economics, which is one of his expertises considering he has always seen himself as a entrepreneur, got downgraded. To him, it is one of his worse days.

"You're lucky, Double D. You suck up to any teacher, so he doesn't bother you" Eddy grumbled.

"Even with my full attention to his teachings and my initiative to intercommunicate for every query I can imagine, he is a man that is not cordial" Edd replied to Eddy, placing a hand on his shoulders. "There is still time to have our lunch schedule before our next class, Eddy. I suggest to put that thought at the back of your head. It is the time where we relax in leisure"

"...You're right, Double D. That dick is not going to ruin what I have left" said Eddy as he perked up, pulling that huge grin.

"Personally I disapprove of you using slanderous words, but I am delighted that you have perked up a bit" said Edd, smiling with his gap tooth exposed.

"Yeah, yeah. I heard Spaghetti and Meatballs is on the menu. Good, I am in a bit of an Italian mood" replied Eddy as he walked towards the cafeteria, with Edd following behind him.

"Exquisite choice" Edd complimented.

_A teacher who is attempting to teach without inspiring the pupil with a desire to learn is hammering on cold iron. ~Horace Mann_


	3. Habits Are Hard To Break

**A/N:** _Welcome to my longest submission thus far. The auto-logs were fun to make. Once you get down to it and only worry about dialogue, it was like fresh air to me. I struggle a bit with description, but I love my dialogue. I love to make characters talk. Anyway, this chapter is the EddxMarie one and it helps solve some of the questions of the previous chapters. _

_To TheYoungestCrazySister, thanks for the feedback. I really appreciated it and this chapter turned out differently thanks to you. And Yes, I heavily support EddxMarie. So much for wanting to troll the shippers ;-;_

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Marie Kanker is not a person that you would get along with easily. Even though the Kanker Sisters have always been frightening to the kids and borderline invasive to the Eds, Marie has always stood out as the sister you never, ever want to get on the wrong side of. She has always been possessive and she reacts to most of her problems with aggression. As she has always been taught by her mother:

_Never be nice. Always be firm. Especially around Men. Show your weakness and they will walk all over you_

Those words stuck to her religiously from the day she was developed enough to retain the human ability of hopes and nightmares that is memories. Her sisters worship those words. It's all she ever have known. And she never question the words of her mother...

...aside from two moments that caused her to cast doubts on her mother's words. Doubts that made Marie reconsidered heavily.

_Is my ma... wrong?_

Those doubts never escaped from her mind, rather it embellishes in her mind. It has bothered her so much that she needed someone to vent to. But Marie would not dare spill out her emotions. She has too much pride to even show an ounce of her weakness, otherwise she felt her reputation would be at stake. She would rather not show her emotional baggage, even to Edd.

In the end, Marie Kanker has found her outlet. An outlet that can record her thoughts. An outlet that store her thoughts. An outlet where she can replay them again in the future when she needs to reflect back on them. An outlet that she felt would help her solve the doubts she has faced.

**Autolog #1**

_So I snatched this pocket recorder from the school. Not the best of ideas and that bastard, Mr. Dickson, will find out. I am on his shit list after all. At those times, I wish I was oven mitt, then Mr. Dickson would be the least of my problems. _

_Anyway, I always want to have a shot at this diary thing. Makes a change from having an actual diary since I draw more of oven mitt being mine forever. And I like listening to my own voice. Seriously, who WOULDN'T want to listen to my voice. Well, my sisters probably wouldn't, but tough shit, I'd never shut up. _

_**(The voice of Lee): **Oi, Marie. Stop talking to yourself in there or we may have to tell mum that you should be in the looney bit, goddit?_

_Oi, cram it. **(Noises of a door being slammed shut)**_

_Lee always being Lee, bossy and think she's above us. She is more salty these days. Maybe it's because I don't like playing these games with my sisters. The games being 'our boyfriends'. Once I dropped out, it seems they also... dropped out. Lee is more bitter than usual and... May, well I don't know what May is up to these days. _

_So you are wondering. Why did I stop playing these games? Well, Mr. Dickson... Yeah, that teacher. I hear he really has it out for that little twerp, Eddy. Picking out faults with him, though Eddy isn't the only target. Lee and Kevin are not too far behind. Not surprised, Kevin and Eddy are more similar than you think. And well, Lee, she has the guts to stand up to him. As you know, I'm on his shit list for... what he calls 'anger issues'. What do you expect? He makes me angry by just being there._

_Oh, I was suppose to tell you why I stopped playing these games. I just say any old thing to this recorder. Luckily it can't be smart with me, otherwise I give it my special treatment. So where was I? _

_Oh, Mr. Dickson teaches us some science-y class. Learning how to dissect frogs. How a light-bulb work. You know, science-y stuff. Well, he decided that there should be a group project and like always, I usually go with Lee and May. Though this time, Mr. Dickson decided to split everyone up into groups through a random draw he made up in the box. That slimy bastard wanted to split us all up. I was angry that time and I planned on TP-ing his house later. Oh, I know his house all right, I like to know my enemies on a personal level. _

_Four people are in a group. I got called out and I was first partnered with... Kevin. Seriously, that annoying dude. The way he wear his hat backwards and riding that bike. I wanted to cram my fist down his mouth. And that teacher. I wanted to strangle him once he called out HER name. Yeah, Nazz. I know Double D likes her. And I didn't like that. Seriously, she thinks she's so pretty, nice and all that. Got her perfect life. Captain of the Cheerleading Squad. Yeah, put her in a fight with me and see if those cheerleading role makes her better than my fist._

_That is what I thought back then. Now, I still dislike Kevin and Nazz... well, I don't hate her. They are both dating now. Thought so as well. Everyone was betting on that. _

_And the last person to join the team was... Double D. Yeah, we all got put in a group and... we had to work together for an invention that is 'considered environmentally friendly'. _

_I would love to tell you more, but... I'm too tired. Talking into a recorder takes hard work. Not used to spilling out 'feelings' and all that. Now I like to dream about... punching little twerps for their money. That usually cheers me up._

**~Autolog ended **

The school bell rang loudly; Peech Creek Jr. High's front entrance burst out with the students. On most of their faces came that expression that would ring true with most students at the end of the school day.

_Thank god school is over_

Johnny, wearing a green backpack, was the first one to leave the school grounds. Yet there was two things that seemed different about him: There is no Plank. When Johnny was asked about Plank, he always tend to avoid the question. No one pressed him about it afterwards. The other thing: he has grown a slight, fluffy miniature afro. To many kids of the cul-de-sac, the unanimous thought is that the afro did not suit him.

Not long after, Kevin and Nazz left. Nazz was sitting at the back of Kevin's bike, as Kevin was pushing forward on the pedals. One look at him would suggest that it is much harder for him to ride with a passenger on board, but he doesn't mind it. Nazz's hair is tied up in a pony tail and she has a change of clothes. A white jumper with blue, denim skirt and black shoes. Meanwhile, Kevin's wardrobe hasn't changed much at all.

Rolf soon followed after. The only difference about him is that he gained more muscles. And then, Sarah and Jimmy. They were discussing about a doll, though Sarah seem disinterested in it.

Only one person waited outside the school entrance. Marie Kanker. She wore an oversized black punk jumper with a hood, which her father left behind. To Marie, it wasn't to remind her of her father, but that she has found something she liked and it was for free. Marie found her father's jumper from her mother and once she asked why her mother have kept the jumper.

_Oh, that thing. A souvenir. I like to keep things that remind me of bad men. _

Marie remembered those words and since, hasn't asked her again nor mentioned about the jumper. She didn't care enough to ask. Marie felt that she survived all these years without her neglectful father. Marie believes that she doesn't need her father, dispelling those thoughts at the back of her head.

She waited outside the school entrance; dark clouds began to form and loom over the school. A little drop in temperature occurred and slight rain began. "Great" Marie murmured. "Rain".

The rain went from a little drizzle to splattering rainfall in all less than a minute. Yet Marie did not budge, as she still stood at the entrance, watching the door to the school. Her eyes never turned away. Her patience granted, Edd walked out of the school with an black umbrella and his black hair slightly long, above his shoulder.

"DOUBLE D!" Marie shouted.

Edd's head turned to Marie, smiling at a friendly face, instead of being scared of the Kanker. But his face quickly turned to a concerned one, as he quickly rushed over to Marie. "Oh, Marie. I really appreciate that you have waited for me. But don't do it on the account of your own health".

"Yeah, yeah. What are friends for? Putting each other's lives in danger" replied Marie, as it was no big deal to her.

"Oh, Marie. I have to be concerned with Ed and Eddy" said Edd disappointedly, holding the umbrella over Marie. The splash of rain amplified the noise underneath, but Marie became enthralled by Edd's act of kind gesture.

"...Thanks, Double D" said Marie sincerely, then smirking playfully. "But it's your fault for making me wait here, y'know. I think a nice cup of hot cocoa at your place shall do me fine"

"Oh, uhm, sure. I'd be delighted to make you a cup of hot cocoa" said Edd nervously.

"Thanks, Double D"

**Autolog #2: **

_I'll have to make use of this pocket recorder. Mr. Dickson is marching around the school now, saying something like "Stealing school property is a serious crime and I will not allow any of you to get away. Once I capture this criminal, I will punish the criminal appropriately in front of the entire school. I know all of your names. I know all of you use Tweeter or FacePub". Jokes on him, I don't have the Internet here. I live in a trailer. _

_**(Voice of May): **Hey, Marie! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM? _

_Get out of my room, May! _

**(Voice of May): **_Hey, it's our room. There's only one room in the trailer!_

_Well, right now, it's my room. So cram it. _**_(Door slammed shut)_**

_Stupid May, can't I have my privacy? Sheeh. I heard May is now officially a member of the baseball team for Peach Creek Jr High. Can hit the balls into the stars as well. Never knew that about her. Something I didn't know about my sisters. I think it was because when we spend time together, we were all too occupied with the Eds. _

_Well, at least May is doing something. All Lee does is sit on her fat butt and drinks herself to death when she has the chance. Surprised she hasn't poisoned herself to death. And one of these days, I will knock it out of her. _

_Back to what I was talking about. Me, Double D, Nazz and Kevin were all in a group. We had to invent something that won't destroy the ozone layer or something. So we all worked together. Well, Edd came up with an idea of a self-automated machine that reuses glass to turn into new glass, recycling food into compost and paper into... new paper. I suggested toilet paper and according to Double D, it's possible. _

_Hey, I contributed... Did you know that I can figure out how car works? Yeah, I know how their engine works. What makes it tick. All of that. Don't want to bore you with the details, but it helped with the group project. _

_But we all have problems with each other. Double D didn't like how touchy I was with him at the beginning. Kevin was awfully shy. Tend to screw up more often than not. Apparently being around Nazz made him sweat. And well, me and Nazz didn't get along. Nazz tried to act as nice as possible, but I always react back in not-so-many nice things. _

_Double D also has a crush on Nazz. But.. Double D instead helped Kevin get together with her. He gave his chance up. That was near the day the project had to be in. So before then, lots of drama, I can tell you that._

_Me and Double D had a lot of arguments. You see, Double D kinda struggled on the invention. Couldn't get it to work properly since he actually has less clue about the inner workings. He used some schematics of a car engine for this invention, so I chipped in and help. Double D won't admit that someone is better than him in some things. And that caused arguments between us two._

_'No, it doesn't work like that. I can do this'_

_'Double D, you can't. Now step away from the Sorting Machine, otherwise I will give you my special treatment. And I wouldn't want to do that to my oven-mitt, but I can make this an exception'_

_For the time, I actually didn't like him. He pointed out where I went wrong. How arrogant I am. It got to the point where I pulled his hat off in rage and thrown it out of the window. And that's where... I saw his hair for the first time. _

_If I can remember all the bad hair days, his would be way at the top. So many things was in that mess of a hair and he kept all of that under his hat with hair pins. It was... actually hilarious. One person didn't find it hilarious... well, apart from Double D. Nazz. _

_Nazz hates messy hair. Our project got put on hold as Nazz decided to sort out his hair. Strapped him to a chair. Got out her hair supplies. And before we know it, his hair was sorted out. The story behind it was simply this:_

_His parents fucked up his haircut really bad. And Double D fucked it up even more. He didn't go to a barbers because he thought he would be the laughing stock. His parents never really asked about his hair. Hell, even his Dad thought the hat was his hair. Wow and I thought my mother was the oblivious one._

_Once our invention was done, it was the first time that I got an A. I guess as long as Double D is your partner, an A is in the bag. Once the project was nearly over, I saw Nazz and Kevin together, being all lovey-dovey. Urgh, keep it in the bedroom. They even left early at times, leaving us two left to do the work. Double D didn't mind it. _

_For the first time when we were on our own, we actually... got along in a different way. I didn't feel the need to smother him. We actually... talked. It started with something like favourite colours. Then to the places we visited. Trust me, I visited a lot of places. Great things about trailers are that it's not stuck in the ground. He even mentioned his cousin one time. Victoria or something like that. She was her friend that he spent time with before he moved here. In the space of an hour, I know a lot about him. _

_I didn't want to tell about my more... personal things. I admire Double D, but I don't want to show him my weakness. Maybe my Ma is wrong. Maybe that there are some good men. But when I look at Ma and her life, where we are all living and my sisters, I don't want to appear weak._

_As Ma says, "Show your weakness and they will walk all over you". _

_I may have first doubted my mother, but... I never want to doubt her again. Even if now, Double D is my friend, it is more out of my benefit. Men can fall in love. Double D will fall in love with me and then, I'll have him. He is mine and no one else. If I can't have him, I'll make him have me. Ma says so. _

_Oven Mitt will soon understand._

**~Autolog ended **

Edd and Marie sit on the soft, yellow sofa in the living room of the Edd's house. Everything is neatly arranged, a large plasma television with the brand 'Zony' nestled at the bottom of the screen, rests in the corner. A fireplace just over a metre away, brimming with steady, red flames and a line of photos arranged. Some have just Edd in them, whereas others has Edd's parents with them.

Marie gripped onto her cocoa, sipping it gently.

"Wow, this cocoa... is really fucking good!" exclaimed Marie.

"Why... uh, thank you, Marie. I see your habit of using rude language hasn't subsided" said Edd, giving a disappointed look to Marie.

"Nope. Like you won't break your neat freak habit" said Marie.

"I guess... habits are hard to break" concluded Edd.

Edd's word struck Marie. As she pondered over those words, everything around her became a blur. All she thought about were those words that Edd has just spoken and compared it to the words that her mother has taught her. The more she compared those words, the clearer the message were. Her mother's words were a habit. They weren't words of a wise man nor of an experienced woman. Rather, it's the words of a woman never wanting to move on. The words that her sisters adopted as their mantra. For the second time, she has doubted her mother's words, despite her promise to lawfully follow her mother.

"Double D?" Marie called out to Edd.

"Yes, Marie?" Edd acknowledged, facing Marie.

"Can people change?" asked Marie.

"Of course people can change. No one stays the same as they did before." answered Edd

"Can I... change?" asked Marie, the pause in her voice to say the word 'change' frightened her. She believed that she wouldn't change. Rather she is cursed to stay the same. Under the words of her mother. And she is frightened that no one else would think she could change.

"Marie" said Edd, lending a hand onto her shoulder. "You have changed. Around eight months ago, I was scared to be within the vicinity of your presence. The way you always try to invade my personal space. The way you shown... affection. But look at you, Marie. You are friendly to me. You always ask how my day was. Sure, you still unleash your temper on the poor students that do not deserve it. But... here you are and I am enjoying your company. You are my friend, Marie"

Marie's eyes widen at Edd's speech to her. For the first time in her life, she felt that she can completely trust this man before her. For the first time, she is willing to throw away her mother's words and began to throw herself into a leap of faith. Marie wants to love him.

"Double D. I love you" said Marie, tremble in her voice.

"What?" replied Edd, as he felt his ears deceived him.

"Double D. I want to be more than your friend. I know I stopped all these kisses, hugs and more. But that was because I knew you did not like it. I thought about what you have felt. But... I love you, Oven Mitt. You are the first man to make me... want to trust you completely"

Edd paused, as he questioned himself what to make of it. His eyes darted around the room, not wanting to make eye contact with Marie. She did not know what to make of it and she felt it could go either way.

"Marie. I...don't know what to say. And I apologise if I appear to be rude, but... I want to think about this" admitted Edd.

"Is that a no?" said Marie, assuming the worse.

"That is not my answer. I honestly do not know what to think of..." explained Edd, but he was cut off by an angered Marie.

"Just cram it, Double D. I should have listened to my Ma in the first place" shouted Marie as she stormed up from her sofa, spilling the hot cocoa on the floor. Rushing to the door, she leave with those final words. "Like Ma said, all men are the same"

**Autolog #3: **

_When I listened to my last two recordings, I just... feel sick. I really have... changed. Here, I thought that listening to what my Ma said, that any man would belong to me if I forced them. Well, one man wouldn't. Double D. _

_Urgh. I feel so drained. Double D wouldn't give me a straight answer. I guess he doesn't love me. Out of all of my sisters, I was the only one to actually fall in love. Lee just wanted someone to boss around. May wanted to fit in and just like one of the boys. _

_I honestly don't know what else to say. I'll have to end up deleting what I said and send it back. I had this around... three months. And Mr. Dickson still hasn't given up. He got up to the point where he has convinced the school to let him inspect each student's lockers. He is even watching me and my sisters. I guess he caught on. Well, sneaking it back in the rightful place and pretending that nothing has happened will do the trick. Mr. Dickson would still insist it's about 'integrity', but I guess the school won't really give a fuck. _

**(sigh)**_ I really do love Double D. That took a lot of guts from me. But... everything doesn't have a happy ending, huh? _

_So to my non-existent audience. Scram. To the property of Peach Creek Jr. High, which is this Pocket Recorder, you have the pleasure of listening to my thoughts. Oh and to Mr. Dickson._

_Fuck you. _

**~Autolog ended **

Edd, sat in the same spot of the sofa, looked down remorsefully. All he could do was stare at the cocoa-stained carpet and out of his character, Edd has not once thought to scrub it clean. Rather his thoughts were occupied by Marie's outburst. He was overwrought with guilt of her troubled reaction. Edd did not mean to offend Marie, but in that moment, he clearly wasn't ready to answer. Yet now, as he sat there absorbed in his thoughts, he have finally found his answer.

_Marie. I... love you too. _


	4. Oh Wait, It's Completed!

For those who are awaiting the next two chapters, I deeply apologise. I was planning on finishing this off, but I have to be realistic and put this as complete. It is experimental and these were random scenarios that I wrote out to help me get ready to write my current one. Since posting up "Growth, Maturity and a Hint of Ed", I have got a more positive reception and more followers. It shows that I'm ready, essentially.

So instead, I'll reveal the last two chapters in detail:

* * *

**Polar Opposites: **About Marie and Nazz. Marie ends up stealing an item from a shop, which is a soda can. She got caught by the shop owner and Nazz was around coincidentally. She paid for the Soda can and from there, it was a talk between the two. Marie went into more detail about her relationship with her mother and she did talk about her rejection from Edd. I wanted to show Marie's jealousy towards everyone's better life. In other words, the Kankers as a whole are jealous towards other people's better life. But then, I wanted to reveal that Nazz's life isn't perfect either because her parents are actually divorced and she has a new step father, whom Nazz's mother is expecting a new child with him. So I wanted to show Nazz being 'that child' as her mother and step father are focusing on a future with their unborn child.

I'm also a fan of the idea of Marie and Nazz being friends. I think despite their huge differences, they would work well, in the same way as Edd and Marie being a 'good couple' even though many would argue (and rightfully so) how unrealistic it is because they are both so different (and something about divorce rate being 50% which shows Edd and Marie can't work. Word of a wikia user, not mine), but fanfiction writers should consider the evidence shown throughout the series.

So yeah. I like the idea of Marie and Nazz being friends. Hell, even Sarah too.

**High Road Ed PT2: **Cactus Man is just a lonely old guy. So he convinced Eddy that there is a hidden treasure. In reality, there is no treasure, Cactus Man just wanted some company. I created Cactus Man after watching various cartoons with the lovable old man, who's lonely and has some good intentions, but commit a lot of bad mistakes. In one particular is Old Man McGucket from Gravity Falls, which I absolutely adore aside from Mabel. And it's because he creates Kooky Inventions all for the sake of wanting attention and he has that lovable personality that you feel really sorry for.

Cactus Man is kinda like that, but is not really... politically correct. He has on numerous occasions commented on Edd's sexual orientation just because of his long hair. He has a texan accent, what do you expect? (I'm an ignorant brit). The heat also takes into effect, which makes Edd more sweaty (thus his tic because he hates being unclean) and Ed being so hungry, which causes 'mirages'.

There is no treasure chest and instead trigged a trap, which traps them in a ditch. Cactus Man just says "That means we'll be together... FOREVER".

It was one of those "Ed, Edd n Eddy" as teenager moments. I wanted it so that people can recognise "Yes, it's Ed, Edd n Eddy" with slapstick, events that make no sense and the three Eds just arguing and bouncing off each other with things we expect them to say. I want it to be Ed, Edd n Eddy plus. What we recognise and remember like "Yep, it's definitely them" with various new elements to bring it forward.

* * *

Thank you for taking the time to read it. And I apologise. Check on my new series: "Growth, Maturity and a Hint of Ed". Even if you don't like the pairing, I make sure to accommodate those because when I originally read those shipping fanfics, it was more out of morbid curiosity and instead I found myself enjoying everything else. I like EddxMarie, but I like a good written fanfiction that acts as a tribute to the cartoon even more. That's what I want for my fanfiction.

Again, thank you for the support.


End file.
